New Mexico CultureNet

WebSlam VIII – Round 1

Prompts

Submissions are closed for Round 1.

Students responded to the following prompts for Round 1. Scroll down to read their work.

  1. Write a poem that involves one of the five senses: sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste

  2. Write a poem that features sunlight, moonlight or artificial light

  3. Write a poem that describes how a person looks, avoiding value-laden words such as “pretty,” “handsome,” etc.

Poems

Little Nothing Face
Meghan McLellan — Capital High School
jooj_fontana@yahoo.com

Cynical, spinning angles, dizzy in moonbeam ridden alcoholic deliverance, watching teddy bears bloom from wild wilted roses, breathing loneliness deep into hearts bleeding to ashes and glass, I never meant to hurt you, thorns dug deep into your flesh like ivy sewn into the face of a doll, and I’ll steal the moon for you, break it in two, so we can radiate the moon’s soft glow, and we’ll wear the halves of the ivory orb in unison around our hearts, laced with barbed wire , hung on meat hooks and cleaved to a pulp, ‘nevermore’ is the doubt a heart will cry in desperation of a lonely night, foreshadowed by one last serenade, one last swooning kiss and so much less than understanding, a heart cultivated like flowers, drugs laced heavily in doily veins, no longer sitting pretty in a drowning pool of alcohol and weed, nothing matters now but you, numb me from life, fall asleep to the rhythm of your breathing and your heart, sleep bitch, between me and insanity, keep me real please, but what is really real anyways? At least to a little nothing face, your nothing could be my everything, and your everything would intoxicate me and me my demise, I’m broken down but the words you say are mending me slowly, of the fiberglass tissue of my fiberglass heart, step right up and take a swing, see if you can break it more! But you would never do that to me would you? Why do you stare at me like that? A trap to my own gaze, you’re beautiful, it’s everything, and that can be a reason, so don’t say that it can’t be, cause I like it when you hold my face and look into my eyes, you tell me that I’m beautiful, and finally this little nothing face believes.


Reviewer:     Beata Tsosie, beata_tsosie@yahoo.com
Rating: 7.5
Review: The poem has good use of imagery, painful images evoke painful emotion…The poet really illustrates closeness and intimacy with what goes on and can be felt beneath the surface. I was struck by the true face of relationships and their intensity.

Posted: Nov/4/2006 10:08 am

Reviewer:     Ann Hunkins, ann@earthear.com
Rating: 8.9
Review: A tour de force with relentless momentum. There are many wonderful images in here, verging on the outrageous but they work: “thorns dug deep into your flesh like ivy sewn into the face of a doll,” “I’ll steal the moon for you”, “our hearts, laced with barbed wire, hung on meat hooks”, “numb me from life”, “the fiberglass tissue of my fiberglass heart”. I wonder if the poem could say anything about that “life” and why it is necessary to find someone to “numb” the speaker from it? At times the language perhaps goes a bit overboard or becomes sentimental and clichéd, such as “swooning kiss”, “a drowning pool of alcohol and weed”, “cry in desperation”. Keep it up and try to tighten it up more.

Posted: Nov/4/2006 11:24 pm

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