Archive of New Mexico Poetry – Suzan Hazen-Hammond
Después,
tus palabras y tus besos
tienen el sabor y el olor a mentiras
y me tocan como si fueron
los dedos del pie de la muerte,
corriendo sobre mi piel,
bailando dentro de mi corazón.
Y después,
me siento como una difunta,
descansándome en lo que se llama la paz,
escondiéndome, desapareciéndome,
solita, sin cara, sin nombre,
para siempre,
en una fosa común.
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Afterwards,
your words and your kisses
have the taste and smell of lies.
Like the toes of Death,
they run across my skin
and dance inside my heart.
Afterwards,
I feel like a corpse,
resting in so-called peace,
hiding myself,
disappearing forever,
alone, without a face, without a name,
into an unmarked grave.
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De la distancia,
en tus ojos tan lóbregos
siempre pensé
que vi la tristeza,
que me miró el dolor.
Te confieso:
Es lo que me atrajo a tí.
Ahora,
conociéndote mejor,
ya sé,
que no es la tristeza,
no es el dolor.
Tampoco es el amor.
Es la muerte
que mira de tus ojos
a mí.
Ya te ofreciste a la muerte,
y si te dejaría,
matarías también a mí.
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From a distance,
I always thought I saw sadness
in your murky eyes.
I thought pain looked back at me.
I confess,
that was what drew me to you.
Now, knowing you better,
I understand it isn’t sadness.
It isn’t pain.
It isn’t even love.
It’s death
that stares out
through your eyes
at me.
You’ve handed yourself over to death,
and if I let you,
you would kill me, too.
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Me siento aplastada.
Lucho.
Me encuentro destruida.
Lucho.
Me vuelvo loca.
Lucho.
La muerte me mira,
y se rie de mí.
Sigo luchando.
Qué piensa la muerte?
Qué me va a vencer?
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I feel smashed.
I fight back.
I find I’ve been destroyed.
I fight back.
I go crazy.
I fight back.
Death looks at me
and laughs.
I keep on fighting.
What does death think?
That it will conquer me?
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About the Poet
Susan Hazen-Hammond is an author and photographer whose many and varied publications include Only in Santa Fe, Spider Woman’s Web: Traditional Native American Tales about Women’s Power, The Great Saguaro Book, and Into the Unknown: Adventure on the Spanish Colonial Frontier. “Despues” was first published in La Herencia del Norte, Winter 1997. “En Tus Ojos Tan Lóbregos” was first published in La Herencia del Norte, Winter 1998. “La Historia de mi Vida” was first published in La Herencia del Norte, Winter 2000, under the title “La Vida.”
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